Big Fat Negative*

Well, I think it's safe to say that my first round of clomid was a big fat bust.

The side effects this month were nothing short of a bitch. The hot flashes. The panic attacks. The extremely long cycle. All for nothing.

Well, that's not entirely true. I did learn that clomid is not the right drug for me. The side effects were intense & I'm pretty sure it made me crazy. It also made sure that AF never showed up [even though I most definitely was not pregnant]. So after quite a few pregnancy test & a blood test, Nurse D & Doctor P put me on Provera.

Luckily, it worked quick, and in two days I'll begin Femera. I have heard that those who don't do well with Clomid have great results with Femera. Hopefully this will be it for us. Nurse D & I decided that if I have horrible side effects on Femera as well, then we will skip month three of the pills and move on to IUI. Which I am totally grateful for.

But hopefully it won't come to that.Well, I think it's safe to say that my first round of clomid was a big fat bust.

The side effects this month were nothing short of a bitch. The hot flashes. The panic attacks. The extremely long cycle. All for nothing.

Well, that's not entirely true. I did learn that clomid is not the right drug for me. The side effects were intense & I'm pretty sure it made me crazy. It also made sure that AF never showed up [even though I most definitely was not pregnant]. So after quite a few pregnancy test & a blood test, Nurse D & Doctor P put me on Provera.

Luckily, it worked quick, and in two days I'll begin Femera. I have heard that those who don't do well with Clomid have great results with Femera. Hopefully this will be it for us. Nurse D & I decided that if I have horrible side effects on Femera as well, then we will skip month three of the pills and move on to IUI. Which I am totally grateful for.

But hopefully it won't come to that.

In the mean time, I am trying to stay positive & hopeful. Not always easy, but doable. This month marked the 30th month of negative tests. This is not counting the 10 months during M's last deployment that we were not able to try at all. It's slightly depressing and when you count it up like that, makes me feel like this thing is never going to actually happen. I've started thinking about life with no kids, even though I know that decision is quite a ways down the road. Luckily I have some amazing girlfriends who have stayed positive with me through all of this, even when I couldn't be. I'm totally grateful to have them with me on this journey!

Fingers crossed for this cycle!