The Third Trimester

The third trimester.

Whoa.

Eleven weeks. You know, give or take. That's all I have left of this pregnancy.

There have been so many emotions over the course of this whole thing. We are, of course, absolutely joyed at the thought of another little addition to our family, but there have been so many thoughts that have run through my head, and even more so as we get closer to the end of this chapter. Every day, those complex emotions change & evolve as well. Tomorrow, I may feel completely different about all of it. Who knows how I will be feeling in two months as we are preparing for the arrival of baby boy.

One of the greatest decisions that I have made recently was staying home. Spending time with Lucas has been so important to me, and even on the days that we do nothing, it is such a joy and so special to have that time with him, especially now. As we move closer and closer to my due date, we are preparing more for what's to come. But at the same time, it's hard to imagine how there could possibly be room in our hearts and our lives for more!

I know that this is all normal and I most definitely know that once this little one arrives, there will be room. We will adjust and adapt, the same way we adjusted and adapted when Lucas came into our world. There will be more on that later -- it's not quite a post I'm ready to share yet.

It's crazy to me just how quick this pregnancy has gone by. Most of that is due to the giant shift in my life, between no longer working and staying home, mixed with the constant chasing of a very busy toddler. Lucas keeps me constantly on my toes and our days fly by before I even know what's going on half the time. Getting to this point is surreal, because I truly don't know where the time has gone. This pregnancy has also been so different than it was with Lucas. I know this is normal, that every pregnancy can be different, and I am beyond grateful it has been as easy as it has been. Things are starting to get rough, with a lot of pain in the pelvic & hip area, but not nearly as bad as it was last time. I'm also just NOW dealing with it, which is loads better than dealing with it the entire time. I've been able to workout semi-regularly (something I wasn't abe to do at all last pregnancy) and my sleep is better (although not nearly as perfect as I want it to be!)

Baby is doing well as far as we know! Lots of movement, which was always my favorite part. I love pushing baby and having baby push back. This one is hanging out on the right side a lot like Lucas did. Rarely does he make his way over to the left. It cracks me up. He's a mover & a shaker, though, at all hours of the day. I know if I wake up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break, baby will wake up with me. This does make things a little difficult in the going back to sleep department, but at the same time, I love having those moments -- even if it's at 3am.

There's also a lot of emotion as we near closer to the end. This is it for us, as far as kids go. It's the closing of a very large chapter of our lives. Again, there will be more on this later in another post but it's a lot of ups & downs as we move onto another chapter of our lives, one no longer filled with TTC or RE's, IUI's or medicated cycles. It's complicated. Good. But complicated (in my head at least).

For now, I'm enjoying my time with the kidlet as much as I can. We have some fun weekends planned as a family. The countdown is on. And we can't wait.

Fall!

I love the Fall. LOVE IT. It's my absolute favorite time of year (except for the couple of weeks surrounding Christmas) & living in the South for as long as we have, I look forward to it even more every year. The cool weather. The changing leaves. Pumpkins. Good coffee. Sweaters & boots! All the things I love wrapped up into one perfect season.

Living here in North Carolina it's HOT most of the year. I mean, just plain stupid hot to the point that being outdoors is pointless and just not FUN. I am an outdoor girl. Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, we practically lived outdoors year 'round! So being here is just cruel most of the time because there is nothing enjoyable about sweating your ass off in 100 degree weather with crazy high humidity.

So when that temperature drops, we make the best of it.

Lucas was obviously around last fall, but with him being so little, there wasn't much he could do. Sure, we would strap him in the stroller and go for walks, but this year, at 19 months, he's so much more active and interested in learning. It's been such a joy taking him places and letting him explore on his own, finding new things he enjoys and generally just being the crazy little boy that he is.

I really wish this weather would last all year. I love being able to open the windows early in the morning, curled up on the couch under a blanket, with a giant mug of coffee. I just -- love this weather. I love all that it entails and everything we get to do because of it. It just makes me ... happy.

We went to a pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago. M had the day off, so we loaded into the car and headed out. It was a Friday afternoon, so not exactly a busy time to go, but that made things nice as well. It wasn't crowded, so we essentially had the whole place to ourselves. Lucas LOVED the animals, and we had fun walking from area to area. He had a blast, and we enjoyed watching him figure things out. No pumpkin was decided on but maybe we will pick one up this weekend. I love being able to do these types of activities with him, and I am glad that we are able to do things like this now, before baby arrives.

This coming weekend, Lucas & I head up to Charlottesville again for a couple of days to see my dear dear friend, Lauren. I cannot wait! I know she has lots planned for us & I am looking forward to the beautiful scenery this time of year (and all the amazing food!)

Food. Or Lack There Of.

One of the toughest things that we have yet to battle with this wonderful kiddo of ours is food.

Food. It seems so simple, really. Give baby food. Baby eats. Everybody is happy. 

Except any parent of a toddler knows (and is probably laughing at me having already gone through all of this) is that it doesn't really work out that way, does it? Not now. Not for a long time it seems. 

Lucas used to be a great eater. LOVED FOOD. I mean, loved it, as evident by the chunkiness this kid has always been. But somewhere along the line -- maybe three months ago or so? -- he started getting picky. First it was simple things, where saying ok, no big deal, let's add in something else was the solution. But we are successfully at the point where throwing his entire plate of food onto the floor without touching a bite is a regular thing. 

Our go tos? Mac & cheese (or just cheese in general). Chicken nuggets. Peanut butter & jelly sandwhiches. The main staples in any kids life -- he won't touch it. And vegetables?? Hahahahaha! No freaking way. I mean, it's probably been a month since he has willingly touched a vegetable and even then it was one lonely green bean. One. Lonely. Green bean. 

But what can you do? I would be lying if I said there weren't many meals where I ended up in tears out of sheer frustration. I know my kid is on the heavier side (28 lbs at his 18 month checkup), and there are lots of parents out there who DO worry about their kids weight (we are not one of them), but you also want to make sure your kid is eating, and eating well. What kind of example are we setting if all we feed him is things that aren't the most nutritionally satisfying? While at the same time, how many times can I put things in front of my kid that he SHOULD be eating, only to have him dump it all on the floor without touching it. It's a really hard balance of wanting to make sure he is getting fed while also being fed well. 

I seem to be failing at the feeding him WELL area right now.

We did bring it up at our last appointment with our pediatrician and yes, she reassured us that this was all normal (which, we knew after having talked to many people) and that it all balances out. We came to the conclusion that my kid is not a "meal" kid, i.e. he won't sit for three meals a day. Instead, we've decided he's a grazer, and once I accepted this, things have been much better. There is still some frustration even with this concept, and the amount of food that he takes in completely varies from day to day. He can have a nothing but a banana and some goldfish one day, and the next I can't seem to give him enough food. So we just keep offering, throughout the day, and when he gives us the sign for food, we feed him. Some days are better than others, and I wish he wasn't such a picky eater, but when it comes down to it, as long as he is putting food in his mouth of any kind, that's what I have to go with. 

It's frustrating, and we want to set good examples as parents to get him off to the right start, but he rarely will eat what we eat (no matter HOW HARD I hide the "good" stuff), so I have to give him what he will. Some days that's loads of fruit. Other days it's nothing but cheerios and goldfish. But it's food. That's what counts, right? 

Eighteen Months

You guys, my kiddo is eighteen months old (and some change. I'm late on this post, as always). Eighteen months!

I don't know how we got here. My baby is not a baby. He's a toddler. A full-fledged little boy with personality & spunk & fire. He is growing like a week & continues to be the absolute joy of our lives. Being home with him these past couple of months has been such a great experience (although, not without it's hard days), a decision that not for one second do I regret. Seeing him thrive day in and day out has been a blessing.

To say that Lucas keeps us on our toes is a giant understatement. He is so curious & adventurous, completely without fear! This is something that worries me because if I take my eyes off him for two seconds, he is plunging himself off of couches or chairs with no worry to the consequences if one of us is not there to catch him. He is not afraid of taking chances, something that he gets purely from his father & not even a little ounce from me. At the same time, I love this quality in him and I hope it is one that he carries with him though life, never fearing anything & never afraid to take a chance or try something new. It's fantastic.

He is picking up words left & right, and we are up to about twenty words in his vocabulary as of right now. I still worry about his speech, mostly because words aren't always full. While I know what he is attempting to say, and we correct it every time so he constantly hears the correct pronunciation, there is still a part of me that wants to make sure he is on track. I have been reassured constantly that he is normal and as of right now, there is no delay, however the mama part of me just wants to keep at it. But whether or not he is speaking actual words, this kid babbles like nobody's buisness. He is a talker, thats' for sure, and sounds flow from his mouth from sun up to sun down. It's hilarious & amazing all at the same time. Recently, out of NOWHERE, he also decided he wanted to learn sign language. I tried when he was smaller but he had no interest in it whatsoever, so we quit. Seven months later with no practice, he started using "more" at meal times and in the past month has picked up five more signs, using them all correctly. I can definitey see some frustration in him when he doesn't know how to communicate what he wants; this is a rough time for parenting & for him, because he wants to communicate so badly but isn't totally sure how to do it. We are getting there and I am trying to pay attention to cues from him, while also trying to teach him patience (the kid has none!) when he can't do or get what he wants right away. He is growing so quick and picking up so much, but there is still such a barrier. We do our best, but it's not to say there aren't some frustrating days.

All in all, this kid is happy. More so now that we are home together than he was when he was in daycare. I think he enjoys being around mom & dad more (and oh boy, does he love his daddy!) while also on a regular routine. We sleep in. We have breakfast. We are out of the house and doing things together. It's been amazing to see a change that I wasn't really expecting. But this kid is happy. And awesome. Like I said, I am loving watching him thrive & grow. I truly cannot believe how fast it all is happening, especially with number two coming up so quickly. I'm taking in as many of these moments as I possibly can while it's just the three of us (and mostly just the two of us during the day).