Skinny Or Bust

January is right around the corner [four & a half months ... eeeek!], which means I turn the big 3-0. Ugh. My goal at the beginning of this year was to lose all the weight that I wanted to lose before my 30th birthday, which is happening much sooner than I would like to think. And I, of course, have not lost ANY of the weight I needed to lose.

Four & a half months isn't a lot of time, and I am quickly realizing that unless I'm the next contestant on The Biggest Loser, it ain't happenin' anytime soon. Not the number that I want to see at least.

The motivation has been there to work out and work hard. The time, however, has not. I spend, on average, 10 hours a day at the office. Most days it's a little more than that. On a good day, I'm to work by 8am [which means up at 6am] & can leave around 6:30 if my work load isn't too bad. Every once in a while, I'm there much later. Which means that to get in my hour work out I either need to be up at 4:30 am [not happening] or go after work. So ... off at 6:30, gym by 7:00. One hour at the gym puts me home around 8:30. Dinner. Bedtime. Personal time? What is that?

It's frustrating because I REALLY want to do this. But I don't have the time. I know that's probably a huge lame ass excuse, but I'm finding that I really do need to find other ways to MAKE the time. As well as find other ways to help with the weight loss journey.

So this week, I started being serious about my calorie counting. It's amazing how quick those calories add up when you eat crap, and how many fruits and veggies you can eat to fill those hungry spots. So, that has been step one. I have a nifty little notebook that stays on my desk all day & in my purse when I'm not in the office. For the record? I am freakin' hungry all. the. time. At least in these beginning stages.

Step two was finding the time to actually work out. The resolution? Bye bye lunch hour. Luckily for me, I have a lot of great workout options due to a) where I work & b) the company I work for. I also found a couple of people who also spend their lunch breaks at one of our various gyms. Which means I will have a buddy. Score! This will also keep me from eating out so often, easing that urge to eat shit food. And when I can? I'll hit the gym a second time after work.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Or so I keep telling myself. I need to KEEP the motivation that I have right now. It's so frustrating to not be where I want to be, to not look the way I want to look/used to look. I need to figure it out.

One baby step at a time.

Tea Cup Cozies

i love coffee. i also love tea. this adorable shop on etsy [my favorite browsing site!] is selling these adorable "tea love mug cozies." i may just have to order a few!







this is the one in particular that i want. i definitely drink more coffee than tea, & it typically comes in one of those starbucks cups ;)

Wishing.

today is one of those days.

the type of day where i want to be at home, on our [brand new] couch doing nothing but drinking coffee & catching up on bad television. in fact, i seem to crave these type of days more & more it seems. in a previous lifetime, i would have taken a *coughcough* sick day & used it more as a personal day. sadly, i can't even justify doing that right now because my work load is so freakin' intense.

there is a very huge part of me that wishes i could take a sabbatical. not for a long time. for like, a month. oh the things i could do & get accomplished!

i have a slightly guilty conscious sometimes when i start to feel like this, because i've worked hard to be where i am. but sometimes i just don't feel like it's worth it, and that i am missing out on a lot of things otherwise. i want to be more creative -- do more, paint more, sketch more. i want our house to be perfect. i'd settle for it always just being clean. i want to spend some more time doing the things that i love doing instead of *wishing* i had the time to do so. i want to spend more time with my husband & less time sitting behind a desk for 50 hours a week.

can i just win the lottery so this can all happen? because while i definitely want to do *all* of those things, i like my paycheck as well!

but then there is that nagging suspicion in the back of my head that reminds me i probably wouldn't like being home all the time. alone. & when we start to have kids? forget it. i'm not sure i could handle that. but maybe i could! because i have a feeling that i wouldn't just do nothing. i would pursue other things more fiercely, like my photography business. i would make something out of all those paintings i would suddenly have time to do.

decisions, decisions. can i just move to europe, please? so i don't have to make this decision -- it could just be made for me?? :)

Bedroom Progress

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I was starting the process of redoing our bedroom. When we first moved in together, we bought what we could, with what very little money we had. And we haven't really upgraded since then.

Earlier this year, we finally got around to painting the living room, and we are in the process of searching for new couches. This is something I am particularly happy about because I hate our black, leather couches. They definitely were not my choice, but were more or less a compromise -- he could get the couches if I could get the cherry sleigh bed for the bedroom.

Since then, we've upgraded our bed to a king sized mattress [how did we ever live without a king sized bed??], and in the last couple of weeks I've been planning for some other changes. Nothing major, but enough to change up the feel of the room.

We've picked out a paint color, and next weekend we will be tackling that project. We removed the mirror from our dresser, which makes the room look SO much bigger. They always say [they, being random designers on HGTV and DIT] that mirrors can make a room look bigger. But that mirror took up so much of the wall, that when we took it down, it was an instant change.

We also upgraded our huge ass box tv for a more sleek flat screen that is now sitting on top of the dresser. I'm on the lookout for some new night stands, a new mirror for the bathroom, new curtains and blinds and a few fun little nick nacks to spice it up a bit.

We are not replacing our dresser [although we may try to sand it down and repaint it or stain it black, as well as find some new hardware for it] or any of the other furniture, and I'm making my own headboard, which means that this should be a fairly cheap project, which I'm looking forward to. There are a lot of changes that I want to make to this house that will cost quite a bit more, so we're saving for that [like new floors in the kitchen and replacing the vanity in the hall bathroom].

Either way, for whatever reason a fire has been lit under my ass lately to make some changes to the house. I need a change, and I need something big -- so home improvement projects are the first on the list!

I'll keep you all updated as we progress, and I'll try to take some before & after photos throughout the process.