RESOLVE launched a new initiative this week, and I thought I would pass along the information [thank you, From IF to When for this info!]:
They have a created a petition for the infertility community to add their names to that will be sent to Sec. Sebelius at the Department of Health and Human Services, along with a letter urging the Secretary to consider infertility treatment an essential health benefit as the discussion on the new healthcare reform policies happen this fall. Their goal is 7,300 signatures: 1 signature to represent every 1,000 people living with infertility.
I urge you to click HERE to read and sign the petition, whether you battle with infertility, know somebody who does or just want to help out.
RESOLVE will be creating a landing page with more FAQs this week. I will post it to my blog as soon as I have more information.
I was very lucky that with my husband being in the military, all of our treatment was covered financially. The only thing we had to pay for was the sperm wash. Our costs would have increased had we had to go the IVF route, but we still would not have paid was most of you do. I know many women who have to save for years for this opportunity, which is such a damn shame. Let's show our policy makers that we are serious about having infertility treatment recognized as an essential health benefit.
September 28, 2011
September 27, 2011
Why Facebook & Pregnancy Do Not Mix*
Being pregnant is a funny thing. Besides all the aches and pains, there is a whole other side to it that involves everybody and their mother giving unwanted advice, their two cents, telling you exactly what kind of parent you'll be, how you should eat, etc. It's like as soon as I have this little person gestating inside of me, I am no longer an individual. I'm a breeder and I'm apparently supposed to lose all form of identity.
Wrong, folks.
Last week, a co-worker brought in cupcakes on Friday morning to celebrate the first day of fall. They were delicious. And because I am the queen of random thoughts, I shared with all of my friends that yes, it was 8am, and I was having a cupcake. Most of the responses were polite, friendly, even supportive ["For you? Absolutely! YOU EAT THAT CUPCAKE, GIRL!" or you know, something like that]. But one individual decided that I was "eating for two" and felt necessary to warn me that if I continued to "eat for two" that I would gain a bunch of weight, have a horrible time losing it just like she did and that I should probably be more careful about what I was ingesting into my body because, you know, I don't want to get fat or anything.
For the record, I have been doing pretty well in my eating endeavors thus far. Minus that week where ALL I WANTED was mexican food [I will admit, four times in one week is a little excessive] I've been sticking to healthy options. I drink a ton of water. I make sure to get my calcium/protein/veggie intake for the day. I take my prenatals. I work out when I can [but because of my hip/pelvic pain it's somewhat unbearable most days]. So sue me for having a damn cupcake.
And you know what? I ACTUALLY HAD TWO. And it was totally worth the splurge when I needed that 3pm pick me up to get me through the rest of the work day. Granted, by reading this woman's posts its painfully obvious that she has body image issues. But it didn't stop me from getting slightly upset in the beginning that somebody who barely knows me, let alone knows what I eat on a day to day basis, would interject on this subject and let me know that "eating for two" is not a good thing. When it had nothing to do with pregnancy to begin with. I read the books. I know that for now it's only an extra 300 calories a day that's needed. I'm a smart gal, y'all.
But it goes so far beyond that. Everything I do suddenly revolves around the kid that's not even here yet. Every single thing I say somehow gets turned into baby. I could write that the sky is purple and somehow SOMEBODY would find a way to bring it back around to baby. EVERY. DAMN. TIME. Last week I decided to pick up knitting again and mentioned so because I have a lot of friends who knit, and it was "where are the baby bump photos?" Um, did I mention my pregnancy or the baby anywhere? I don't think so. And yes ... I am knitting for me. Not for the kid.
I was also introduced to this amazingly hilarious website called STFU, Parents! that is beyond funny. As an infertile, and really as just a human being, there was nothing more annoying than those parents who posted 20 times a day about their kids. I even had one friend go so far once to post a photo of their kid, SITTING ON THE TOILET, doing his "first big boy poop." Seriously? Some things need to be kept a secret. Or shared only in person. And on more than one occasion, these individuals got blocked because if I wanted to hear the ins & outs of every single thing your child did, I would be friends with THEM on facebook. And when I vowed publicly that I refused to be one of those parents, I was told "don't worry, you'll be just like that. Because poop is funny."
Ok. Maybe poop is a little funny sometimes. When I talked to my best friend last week and she told me how her one month old had his first big blow out and her husband almost threw up because he was so grossed out, it was funny. But what was funny was that as a first time parent, they didn't know what the fuck they were doing. But she kept it to herself and only shared with a few. And didn't post it all over facebook. Because honestly, who wants to read that?
The simple point to all of this is that I am a person, too. Just because I am now carrying a child and expanding our family does not mean that MY life ends. I get that baby's are cute and squishy and adorable, but not everybody loves them. Hell, I don't even like other people's kids that much. In fact, most times they annoy me, with a few exceptions to those that are currently in my life. And just because I am stepping into Mommy-Land, it does not take away from the things that I still enjoy. I have been very careful about the pregnancy related stuff I post on facebook, mostly out of respect for my friends still battling infertility, but also because it does not completely define me. Not in my eyes. I'm not going to lie ... I'm sure there will be plenty of photos and "look what Baby W did today" posts. But I honestly do not want to be that person that annoys everybody else.
I will love this child with every ounce of being that I have. It doesn't mean that I will give up who I am as an individual and forget that I had a life and a personality before a baby came along. And if I have to fight to remind people of that, then I will.
Wrong, folks.
Last week, a co-worker brought in cupcakes on Friday morning to celebrate the first day of fall. They were delicious. And because I am the queen of random thoughts, I shared with all of my friends that yes, it was 8am, and I was having a cupcake. Most of the responses were polite, friendly, even supportive ["For you? Absolutely! YOU EAT THAT CUPCAKE, GIRL!" or you know, something like that]. But one individual decided that I was "eating for two" and felt necessary to warn me that if I continued to "eat for two" that I would gain a bunch of weight, have a horrible time losing it just like she did and that I should probably be more careful about what I was ingesting into my body because, you know, I don't want to get fat or anything.
For the record, I have been doing pretty well in my eating endeavors thus far. Minus that week where ALL I WANTED was mexican food [I will admit, four times in one week is a little excessive] I've been sticking to healthy options. I drink a ton of water. I make sure to get my calcium/protein/veggie intake for the day. I take my prenatals. I work out when I can [but because of my hip/pelvic pain it's somewhat unbearable most days]. So sue me for having a damn cupcake.
And you know what? I ACTUALLY HAD TWO. And it was totally worth the splurge when I needed that 3pm pick me up to get me through the rest of the work day. Granted, by reading this woman's posts its painfully obvious that she has body image issues. But it didn't stop me from getting slightly upset in the beginning that somebody who barely knows me, let alone knows what I eat on a day to day basis, would interject on this subject and let me know that "eating for two" is not a good thing. When it had nothing to do with pregnancy to begin with. I read the books. I know that for now it's only an extra 300 calories a day that's needed. I'm a smart gal, y'all.
But it goes so far beyond that. Everything I do suddenly revolves around the kid that's not even here yet. Every single thing I say somehow gets turned into baby. I could write that the sky is purple and somehow SOMEBODY would find a way to bring it back around to baby. EVERY. DAMN. TIME. Last week I decided to pick up knitting again and mentioned so because I have a lot of friends who knit, and it was "where are the baby bump photos?" Um, did I mention my pregnancy or the baby anywhere? I don't think so. And yes ... I am knitting for me. Not for the kid.
I was also introduced to this amazingly hilarious website called STFU, Parents! that is beyond funny. As an infertile, and really as just a human being, there was nothing more annoying than those parents who posted 20 times a day about their kids. I even had one friend go so far once to post a photo of their kid, SITTING ON THE TOILET, doing his "first big boy poop." Seriously? Some things need to be kept a secret. Or shared only in person. And on more than one occasion, these individuals got blocked because if I wanted to hear the ins & outs of every single thing your child did, I would be friends with THEM on facebook. And when I vowed publicly that I refused to be one of those parents, I was told "don't worry, you'll be just like that. Because poop is funny."
Ok. Maybe poop is a little funny sometimes. When I talked to my best friend last week and she told me how her one month old had his first big blow out and her husband almost threw up because he was so grossed out, it was funny. But what was funny was that as a first time parent, they didn't know what the fuck they were doing. But she kept it to herself and only shared with a few. And didn't post it all over facebook. Because honestly, who wants to read that?
The simple point to all of this is that I am a person, too. Just because I am now carrying a child and expanding our family does not mean that MY life ends. I get that baby's are cute and squishy and adorable, but not everybody loves them. Hell, I don't even like other people's kids that much. In fact, most times they annoy me, with a few exceptions to those that are currently in my life. And just because I am stepping into Mommy-Land, it does not take away from the things that I still enjoy. I have been very careful about the pregnancy related stuff I post on facebook, mostly out of respect for my friends still battling infertility, but also because it does not completely define me. Not in my eyes. I'm not going to lie ... I'm sure there will be plenty of photos and "look what Baby W did today" posts. But I honestly do not want to be that person that annoys everybody else.
I will love this child with every ounce of being that I have. It doesn't mean that I will give up who I am as an individual and forget that I had a life and a personality before a baby came along. And if I have to fight to remind people of that, then I will.
September 26, 2011
Sixteen Weeks*
I know I promised a bump shot this week, but I didn't get to it. And I'm not feeling it quite yet either. Maybe next week. I swear.
The truth of the matter is this week has been rough. I know that I'm supposed to say that pregnancy is joyous & happy & flowers & rainbows all the time. And for the most part, it is. We are still beyond excited about this baby and are looking forward to March [although it seems to be coming quicker than we are prepared for!]. But the truth is, I am jealous of these women who have said that they LOVED pregnancy, & it was so wonderful for them the entire time.
Because it sure as hell hasn't been like that for me.
I know that a lot of my readers are from the Infertility community and let me stress again that after three and a half years of trying for Baby W, it's a huge blessing that we are at this point. And I don't blame you if you get pissed and leave for me complaining. I was/am totally one of those women who would say "Bitch, be grateful you have morning sickness because I would kill to be puking my brains out!" But this shit is hard. I have been miserable since day one. I suffered from some pretty serious nausea during the first trimester, and the pelvic & hip pain that I currently have is borderline unbearable. I am in pain every time I take a step, or move wrong, or lift my leg the wrong way to do something. My midwife says that this is normal, unfortunately, so I am trusting her that there is nothing seriously wrong. The hip pain I can get through. But I feel like I've been punched in my vagina and the surrounding area. Then throw in the back pain, heartburn and constipation, and well ... I'm just a regular ball of fun.
I am hoping ... PRAYING ... that it gets better in the coming weeks. I think that once I feel movement, I'll be more bearable when it comes to all of this. But nobody talks about the rough parts of being pregnant which makes me feel very alone in what my body is going through. I'm tired of being miserable. And I really hope it gets better quick.
I have a super cute idea for my weekly shots, but it's a matter of getting dressed enough to feel cute! I'll work on that! Here are my fun facts for the week:
How Far Along? 16 weeks, 3 days.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still down those 10 pounds. I'm starting to hope that it stays this way for a few more weeks! I have enough weight to lose when I'm NOT pregnant, that hopefully my overall gain won't be too much.
Maternity Clothes? I love maternity pants. So much. I can now see why so may women swear by them even post-baby.
Stretch Marks? No new ones!
Sleep: I slept a little heavier this week, mostly due to being plain exhausted by the end of the day. I don't think I stayed up past 9:30 one night this week.
Best Moment of the Week? Meeting my new midwife who is AMAZING. I am so glad that I was finally able to get away from my crappy hospital and be with a clinic who truly cares about their patients. She is fabulous.
Miss Anything? Cuddling with my husband at night. I have so many damn pillows to help keep me comfortable, it's like Fort Knox in the bed!
Movement: Nothing yet :(
Food Cravings: None this week!
Anything Making You Queasy or Sick? I've had a couple incidents where I've gotten queasy. But they passed quick.
Have You Started to Show Yet? Maybe?
Gender Prediction: Still boy. Although maybe leaning towards girl.
Labor Signs: No.
Belly Button In or Out: In
Wedding Rings On or Off: On.
Happy or Moody Most of the Time? Pretty happy, although being in pain makes me slightly moody.
Looking Forward To: Feeling movement!
The truth of the matter is this week has been rough. I know that I'm supposed to say that pregnancy is joyous & happy & flowers & rainbows all the time. And for the most part, it is. We are still beyond excited about this baby and are looking forward to March [although it seems to be coming quicker than we are prepared for!]. But the truth is, I am jealous of these women who have said that they LOVED pregnancy, & it was so wonderful for them the entire time.
Because it sure as hell hasn't been like that for me.
I know that a lot of my readers are from the Infertility community and let me stress again that after three and a half years of trying for Baby W, it's a huge blessing that we are at this point. And I don't blame you if you get pissed and leave for me complaining. I was/am totally one of those women who would say "Bitch, be grateful you have morning sickness because I would kill to be puking my brains out!" But this shit is hard. I have been miserable since day one. I suffered from some pretty serious nausea during the first trimester, and the pelvic & hip pain that I currently have is borderline unbearable. I am in pain every time I take a step, or move wrong, or lift my leg the wrong way to do something. My midwife says that this is normal, unfortunately, so I am trusting her that there is nothing seriously wrong. The hip pain I can get through. But I feel like I've been punched in my vagina and the surrounding area. Then throw in the back pain, heartburn and constipation, and well ... I'm just a regular ball of fun.
I am hoping ... PRAYING ... that it gets better in the coming weeks. I think that once I feel movement, I'll be more bearable when it comes to all of this. But nobody talks about the rough parts of being pregnant which makes me feel very alone in what my body is going through. I'm tired of being miserable. And I really hope it gets better quick.
I have a super cute idea for my weekly shots, but it's a matter of getting dressed enough to feel cute! I'll work on that! Here are my fun facts for the week:
How Far Along? 16 weeks, 3 days.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still down those 10 pounds. I'm starting to hope that it stays this way for a few more weeks! I have enough weight to lose when I'm NOT pregnant, that hopefully my overall gain won't be too much.
Maternity Clothes? I love maternity pants. So much. I can now see why so may women swear by them even post-baby.
Stretch Marks? No new ones!
Sleep: I slept a little heavier this week, mostly due to being plain exhausted by the end of the day. I don't think I stayed up past 9:30 one night this week.
Best Moment of the Week? Meeting my new midwife who is AMAZING. I am so glad that I was finally able to get away from my crappy hospital and be with a clinic who truly cares about their patients. She is fabulous.
Miss Anything? Cuddling with my husband at night. I have so many damn pillows to help keep me comfortable, it's like Fort Knox in the bed!
Movement: Nothing yet :(
Food Cravings: None this week!
Anything Making You Queasy or Sick? I've had a couple incidents where I've gotten queasy. But they passed quick.
Have You Started to Show Yet? Maybe?
Gender Prediction: Still boy. Although maybe leaning towards girl.
Labor Signs: No.
Belly Button In or Out: In
Wedding Rings On or Off: On.
Happy or Moody Most of the Time? Pretty happy, although being in pain makes me slightly moody.
Looking Forward To: Feeling movement!
September 21, 2011
ICLW #2*
Welcome, ICLW'ers! This is the second time I have participated in ICLW & I am trying to become better about posting & linking every month :) So if you are here because of that, than WELCOME!
If you want a quick snap shot of who I am, then feel free to go to my first ICLW post. You can, of course, always check out the "About Brittany" section up top as well.
Things here are pretty calm in the Boho household. Friday marks 16 weeks in the pregnancy, and while we still feel it's a little early to get too excited about the nursery and registering for gifts, I definitely don't want to be that person that is still putting the nursery together when kid boho is three months old. Ideally, I would like to have it completed & good to go WELL before the wee one gets here. This is my OCD taking over.
With that said, we've started researching some of the larger items that will be needed and figuring out a budget for what we want vs. what we can afford. We know the likelihood of family & friends getting us things is possible, but we don't want to rely or EXPECT any of these things. So it's important to us that we know what we are getting ourselves into. The registry has been created, but only because we decided on a stroller/car seat. That's the only thing on the list at this time!
My laziness is getting better, as in I'm not being as lazy as I was during the first trimester, but I still definitely have days where all I want to do is go home from work and watch reruns on tv.
I am also SO excited that the cooler weather is ALMOST here. While the weather is still in the low 80's here it is a very welcome break from the months of 100 degree days that we had. I know this isn't "cool" to many people, but it means that those 60 degree days are right around the corner. I might actually try to decorate for fall this year, but we will see. Again, with the motivation. It's lacking.
Thanks for checking out my blog ... feel free to browse & please come back!
If you want a quick snap shot of who I am, then feel free to go to my first ICLW post. You can, of course, always check out the "About Brittany" section up top as well.
Things here are pretty calm in the Boho household. Friday marks 16 weeks in the pregnancy, and while we still feel it's a little early to get too excited about the nursery and registering for gifts, I definitely don't want to be that person that is still putting the nursery together when kid boho is three months old. Ideally, I would like to have it completed & good to go WELL before the wee one gets here. This is my OCD taking over.
With that said, we've started researching some of the larger items that will be needed and figuring out a budget for what we want vs. what we can afford. We know the likelihood of family & friends getting us things is possible, but we don't want to rely or EXPECT any of these things. So it's important to us that we know what we are getting ourselves into. The registry has been created, but only because we decided on a stroller/car seat. That's the only thing on the list at this time!
My laziness is getting better, as in I'm not being as lazy as I was during the first trimester, but I still definitely have days where all I want to do is go home from work and watch reruns on tv.
I am also SO excited that the cooler weather is ALMOST here. While the weather is still in the low 80's here it is a very welcome break from the months of 100 degree days that we had. I know this isn't "cool" to many people, but it means that those 60 degree days are right around the corner. I might actually try to decorate for fall this year, but we will see. Again, with the motivation. It's lacking.
Thanks for checking out my blog ... feel free to browse & please come back!
September 19, 2011
Fifteen Weeks*
How Far Along? 15 weeks, 3 days.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still negative 10 pounds! For reals. I'm not complaining, at all ... I ate like crap for a couple of weeks so was expecting it to catch up with me, but I can tell that I've lost weight, especially in my face. Although I don't FEEL like it anywhere else. Hoping that since we're getting ready to jump into the fourth month, that things will start to catch up.
Maternity Clothes? I got super lucky and inherited about four bins of maternity clothes from a friend. So as far as pants go, they are pretty much the only thing I'm wearing these days. Because let's be honest ... they are freaking comfortable.
Stretch Marks? Nope. Only the ones that were there before!
Sleep: Sleep is just plain difficult. Sometimes I sleep through the night completely, other times I'm up at all hours because my hips hurt. It's frustrating, but it is what it is. Thank god for coffee.
Best Moment of the Week? We were gifted an at home doppler from an old work friend early in the pregnancy. It had been about three weeks since we tried to find the heartbeat on our own [which was always unsuccessful] but the other night we thought we would try again. We found it instantly! It was a magical experience!
Have You Told Family & Friends? YES! I couldn't wait any longer to spill the beans!
Miss Anything? Still wine. I fear that this will always be my answer every single week.
Movement: One moment where I thought it might have been the baby. Or I was just hungry. I don't know.
Food Cravings: None this week!
Anything Making You Queasy or Sick? No, I think I am definitely past the point of being queasy. Which is great.
Have You Started to Show Yet? Um, I think so. But mostly it's my fat being pushed out farther. ha!
Gender Prediction: Still guessing a boy! But hoping for a girl :)
Labor Signs: No.
Belly Button In or Out: In
Wedding Rings On or Off: On.
Happy or Moody Most of the Time? MOODY! Sorry, husband. I can't help it.
Looking Forward To: Feeling movement!
I know there are like, two people that read this blog, and I'm not sure if anyone really cares about these updates, but they are a good reminder for me to look back at to see how I was feeling throughout all of this!
The hip/pelvic pain is still pretty strong, but I'm dealing with it and just accepting it. Although it does make me move a little slower than normal. I FINALLY got everything worked out with the insurance company and will be seeing my new midwife on Thursday morning. I'm looking forward to another official check up and to get some official answers about my pelvic pain. But with hearing the heart beat this past week, it's so reassuring that everything is ok. The heart beat has been in the mid-150's so very nice and strong.
Photos starting next week!
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still negative 10 pounds! For reals. I'm not complaining, at all ... I ate like crap for a couple of weeks so was expecting it to catch up with me, but I can tell that I've lost weight, especially in my face. Although I don't FEEL like it anywhere else. Hoping that since we're getting ready to jump into the fourth month, that things will start to catch up.
Maternity Clothes? I got super lucky and inherited about four bins of maternity clothes from a friend. So as far as pants go, they are pretty much the only thing I'm wearing these days. Because let's be honest ... they are freaking comfortable.
Stretch Marks? Nope. Only the ones that were there before!
Sleep: Sleep is just plain difficult. Sometimes I sleep through the night completely, other times I'm up at all hours because my hips hurt. It's frustrating, but it is what it is. Thank god for coffee.
Best Moment of the Week? We were gifted an at home doppler from an old work friend early in the pregnancy. It had been about three weeks since we tried to find the heartbeat on our own [which was always unsuccessful] but the other night we thought we would try again. We found it instantly! It was a magical experience!
Have You Told Family & Friends? YES! I couldn't wait any longer to spill the beans!
Miss Anything? Still wine. I fear that this will always be my answer every single week.
Movement: One moment where I thought it might have been the baby. Or I was just hungry. I don't know.
Food Cravings: None this week!
Anything Making You Queasy or Sick? No, I think I am definitely past the point of being queasy. Which is great.
Have You Started to Show Yet? Um, I think so. But mostly it's my fat being pushed out farther. ha!
Gender Prediction: Still guessing a boy! But hoping for a girl :)
Labor Signs: No.
Belly Button In or Out: In
Wedding Rings On or Off: On.
Happy or Moody Most of the Time? MOODY! Sorry, husband. I can't help it.
Looking Forward To: Feeling movement!
I know there are like, two people that read this blog, and I'm not sure if anyone really cares about these updates, but they are a good reminder for me to look back at to see how I was feeling throughout all of this!
The hip/pelvic pain is still pretty strong, but I'm dealing with it and just accepting it. Although it does make me move a little slower than normal. I FINALLY got everything worked out with the insurance company and will be seeing my new midwife on Thursday morning. I'm looking forward to another official check up and to get some official answers about my pelvic pain. But with hearing the heart beat this past week, it's so reassuring that everything is ok. The heart beat has been in the mid-150's so very nice and strong.
Photos starting next week!
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