Max: One Year

Dear Max,

It's hard to believe that you are a now a year old. In fact, you have been a year old for just over two weeks now, and I still don't want to accept the fact that you are not my tiny little baby anymore (not that you were ever TINY!)

I don't even know where to begin when talking about all the wonderful and amazing ways you have brought joy to our lives this past year. There is no denying that we have a rough start, and a tough first six months. But through all of it -- RSV, persistent sickness as a result, adjusting to an international move and all the complications and upheaval that came with it -- you remained constantly happy and a true light in our lives. I have never met a happier baby, and even through the tough times, you shined.

You are SO HAPPY. All the time! (Ok, mostly all the time!) Your smile is so big and genuine. You light up at any new person that enters the room, and you truly are a social butterfly (except when you are just waking up, much like your mama. And I do love those snuggles). You are STUBBORN, just like your brother, and boy do you have an opinion already. Heaven forbid we take something away from you that you want to have, or give you something you don't want. You make it very well known what your stance is, and I hope that trait never leaves you. You have the most wonderful laugh, and an even bigger smile. You talk CONSTANTLY, and since you started walking around 10 month, you have not stopped. You are busy, and I think sometimes your feet can't keep up with how fast you want to move (the bumps on your head prove it!)

You are BIG. I mean, a really big baby! Twenty-seven pounds and almost off the charts in every percentile. Which is good for you, because you are finally able to push back when your big brother starts getting a little rough (we are working on it, I promise). You eat just about everything we put in front of you, and man can you put back some food. It constantly amazes me how much you can fit into your tiny little belly. You rarely turn things down, but have definitely started to show favorites towards some foods.

You are a HORRIBLE sleeper. I mean, really really bad. I blame everything that we had going on this past year, and not being able to get you into a good routine when sleep routines were setting in. But it is what it is, and I keep hoping for the day when you decide to sleep through the night, and not wake me up 1-3 times. But we love the late night snuggles, even if it means lack of sleep, because you love them, too. I love the way you cling to my neck, and you give the sweetest hugs & kisses. You love to snuggle, love to sleep with us when you don't want to sleep on your own, and are so happy to be CLOSE to somebody else.

Your words are still limited to Mama & Dada, but you love to wave bye bye, clap your hands, and (Daddy's Favorite) give some sweet high fives. You LOVE it when Daddy chases you around the house trying to catch you, and you love it even more when he carries you on your belly, flying you around as you chase big brother. I'm also pretty sure you are going to be as obsessed with cars as Lucas is, as they are typically your go-to toy of choice, driving them around the floor and giggling the entire time.

Thank you for being such a joy in our life, and the lives of so many others. You are loved by a large group of family and friends, and you have made OUR lives so wonderful & completed our family in the best way possible. We love you, and I cannot wait to see what this next year brings us.

Halloween

Our first Halloween in Germany is officially in the books! I can't tell you enough how much fun we had this year, our little family of four.

Because we live on post, and therefore live in stairwell apartments, ever set up tables outside there stairwell entrance and hands out candy. We met up with a few other families and did things pot-luck style, while we took turns taking the kids trick-or-treating. This was Lucas's first real Halloween, and we really had a blast!

I have to say, Lucas won't wear a costume. He has a few minor sensory issues that we are positive he will eventually outgrow, and the kid is the cleanest in the world when it comes to doing crafts because he doesn't like his hands to get dirty. A costume was completely out of the question but we so badly wanted to take him trick-or-treating, knowing he would understand things a little better, so, we sort of had to work with what we had and get a little creative this year!

I introduce to you, Albert Einstein!

I seriously am dead from the cuteness of his costume this year. DEAD! It was such a hit! I honestly didn't think it would work out as well as it did, but when we realized an actual costume was out of the question, we tried to come up with some other plans. And I mean, that hair!! What else were we going to do? It was a little brilliant, and everybody got a good chuckle out of it. Plus, he rocked it!

We spent about an hour and a half walking around the buildings near our house, and while Lucas was a little hesitant at first, he eventually got the hang of it, especially once he realized that when he said "trick or treat!" it resulted in candy in his bag! He loved hitting all the candy stations & tables, and we loved walking around with him. It was so sweet, and everybody was so nice. Our neighborhood in North Carolina was a DUD for Halloween, so it was truly fun to see so many kids running around in great costumes, to see other parents having fun, PLUS we got to eat some really great food with some pretty great company!

Don't worry, Max was there, too!

He didn't care about the costume, and was more than happy to just observe all the craziness & people watch. He hung out in his stroller, at some mac & cheese for dinner and generally enjoyed all the shenanigans. He was the cutest pumpkin ever!

We really did have such a wonderful evening, even post trick-or-treating, spending the evening with our upstairs neighbors. The kids had a blast, and we had a great time with friends. We have vowed that next year we will deck out our stairwell and man our own table, but it was nice to spend some time with friendly faces. A very successful Halloween as a family of four!

Max -- Six Month Update

With all the crazy the past couple of months, poor Max got left behind on his updates. I think the last I did was three months -- I had every intention of doing one at four, and then again at five, but here we are, creeping in at six months.

It's hard to believe that this kid is six months old already.

Max is the happiest baby I have ever seen, but at the same time knows what he wants, and when he wants it. He will go zero to sixty in no time at all, which is a huge change from his big brother. There's no waiting around to make a bottle in the middle of the night - when he's up, and he's hungry, you better be ready..

He is also completely different from his brother in the sleeping department as well. Max basically hates sleep. He is a champion cat-napper, and his naps during the day typically last around 30 minutes. It's maddening. Finding a spot that he is comfortable in is key to his napping success, and being in a hotel room the past two weeks has made this difficult. Our only options are the pack & play, which we purposely kept him in while we were still in NC, knowing this would be his sleep option once we got here, and our bed. Guess which won?

Not the pack & play.

We have taken to bed-sharing which, with Lucas, I was admittedly against. While it works for some (and I am not knocking it at all. Do what works for you!) it was not something that we wanted to do. And honestly didn't HAVE to do. Lucas didn't sleep through the night until 13 months, but he was still a good sleeper. I could put him down still awake and he would fall asleep on his own. He took routine naps, at the same time every days, for 2-3 hours each. At night, while he was still waking up to eat, he would essentially dream eat through the entire thing & go back down with zero problem. He set his own schedule essentially from the day he was born, and we have never gone back.

Cue the complete opposite with Max. He will not fall asleep unless you are holding him. He hates the pack & play which means he sleeps with us in the bed (and in reality, means he sleeps with me while my poor, sweet husband curls up with our toddler in the other bed). When he wakes up at night, he is AWAKE, which means he cries -- loudly -- and getting him back to sleep even after being fed is a challenge. Even at six months old, he will not sleep longer than three -- MAYBE FOUR -- hours at night, which means we are still up 2-3 times.

During the day, we also struggle. While Lucas was (and still is) a very independent baby, Max doesn't seem to be following suit. The poor kid hates being put down, and will cry after about five minutes of being anywhere but in somebody's arms (usually mine). In order to get things done, I have to put him down, which means I spend a good part of the day listening to him whine & cry. It's frustrating for all of us. His mommy attachment is at epic levels, meaning he won't even let M hold him unless I am present. Which means leaving the room, let alone the house (or the hotel in our case right now) without him leads to the kid acting like you are hurting him. I have never heard a baby scream the way he does. It makes me feel awful for my husband, who gets frustrated because despite his best efforts, their solo relationship doesn't seem to be getting any better UNLESS I am around. This means I haven't had more than a couple minutes alone in about, oh, six weeks. I'm not quite sure where my level of sanity is these days, but it's low. It amazing how two babies can be so completely different, but Max is hands down the harder & more difficult one of the two. I was always so grateful that Lucas was as incredibly easy as he was -- but of course we would have the complete opposite with number two.

But when it comes down to it, he is still such a sweet, sweet baby. He has the greatest smile, and the sweetest laugh. He give large, slobbery open mouth kisses (and gets quite excited about doing so!), snuggles better than any baby, and makes us all laugh on a daily basis. He is OBSESSED with his big brother, and if Lucas is in the room, nobody else matters. I love seeing their relationship blossom the way it has been in the past month or so, and I cannot wait until they are older and great friends. Nobody can make Max laugh the way Lucas can. It's sweet & endearing. He also still remains quite a large, chunky baby. He has been in 9 month clothing for quite some time now, and we are dipping into the 12 month clothes on occasion. While I haven't taken him in for his six-month checkup yet, I do know that he is tipping the scale around 22 pounds, and that he teeters between the 98th percentile and off the charts completely. I love every single one of his not-so-little rolls. We just began solids within the last couple of days, and it looks like we are going the baby-led-weaning route with him again. We have tried both puree's -- which he wasn't a fan of -- and whole food -- which he went to town on -- so we will continue to experiment with what works best for him.

I do hope that things improve in the coming months, specifically in the sleep department. I make it through the days as it, but I can't imagine what a full night sleep will feel like. But all in all, he is a sweet, adorable baby boy. This is such a fun age, and I cannot wait to see what comes!

Max: Three Months

It's hard to believe that my smallest (ok, not so small but you know what I mean) has hit the three month mark already. I will never get used to this time flying thing. But here we are! The three month mark as of the 14th, and while I feel like it has been so long since he came into the world, it also feels like just yesterday at the same time.

First off, the stats. We happened to have to go to the pediatrician right around his three month birthday, and I have a whopper, guys. He weighed in at 17 lbs, 7 oz. At THREE MONTHS. He's also hovering right around 26" long. All in all, he's a big baby, but a proportionate one. He's grown about six inches since birth and gained almost 10 pounds during that time. We are easily in six month clothing and quickly staring at 9 month clothing. It's bananas.

We continue to have side effects to the RSV that he caught when he was two weeks old, and it's the reason why we were at the pediatrician last week. If you're not familiar with RSV, essentially it's a giant pain in the ass. While we have had no re-occurrence of it since infancy, it is making our life difficult, especially with a toddler around. While it make take Lucas and I a day or two to get over a cold, it has taken Max up near a month at times to recover from the same virus. And because the RSV damaged his lungs a bit, breathing is sometimes an issue (although not near fatal or to the point where hospitalization is necessary) it does pose a problem when he is in the height of his colds. We visit the pediatrician frequently, because essentially any time a cold strikes and his breathing becomes labored, his lungs need to be checked to make sure everything is ok, and a re-test for RSV is conducted (an easy swab in the nose). It has ALWAYS come back just a basic cold virus since the initial diagnoses, which is huge, but at the same time, it's been hard on him, essentially being sick his entire life.

We were told that it would be a tough first year, and even without a cold, Max has experienced some breathing issues & wheezing. We've become good friends with our nebulizer, and this relationship will likely continue in the coming months. With the end of cold and flu season however, and the onset of the warmer weather, we are hoping that we are through the worst and can venture out more often as a family, doing things aside from running errands. We have been overly cautious about where we take him due to the risk of getting colds, but things are starting to look up, which means our self-imposed caution is nearing the end until next winter, where we will likely take it easy again, just to be safe.

Aside from all of that, Max has been, and continues to be, one of the HAPPIEST babies I have ever met. He smiles and talks more than his big brother did at that age, and has the quirkiest little laugh. He loves to be touched, swaddled, man-handled and rolled around; doing so is the quickest way to bring a smile to his face. He has never once cried during bath time and babbles away when he is naked. Max is strong, but lazy at the same time. He is getting better at standing when assisted by us, but lays there and puts zero effort into tummy time (despite having EXCELLENT head control otherwise!) I have a feeling that he will be just like his big brother, and will do things on his own terms, when he's ready to do so. He isn't the greatest day sleeper, taking maybe one solid three-hour nap a day with a few cat naps here and there, but he regularly sleeps in 10-hour stretches at night. He eats like a champ (30-35 oz a day) and is truly a complete joy. He LOVES his brother, so much, and lights up every time Lucas comes in close. Adjusting to life with two has been a challenge, but Max makes it easier than it could be.

Baby Max: Month Two

It's hard to believe that my littlest guy is two months old already. One of the things that you quickly learn as a parent is that time flies quicker than you are ever ready for. It is definitely still the case this time around, and it's weird to be writing this. We've hit the two month mark for little Max!

This second month has not been entirely easy. After our case of RSV, Max was healthy for about a week before he caught another cold (thank you, big brother). Unfortunately, RSV does a number on the system of such a small person, and it makes it very difficult, even after they have recovered from it, to recover from other things. This cold has kicked my poor baby's cute little booty. Just when I think we are turning a corner and finally on the mend, we seem to take a step backwards. While a little congestion and some coughing may not seem like a big deal to an older baby, but for Max it has made things like BREATHING difficult. Even now, we remain on the nebulizer as needed, and risked another hospitalization because of a fever that popped up (and thankfully went away). No matter how much I bulb syringe or nosefrida (which, seriously, once you get over the ick factor of sucking snot out of your kids nose with a tube & your mouth? BEST THING EVER!) I just can't seem to get it all. Whatever is hanging out waaaaay back there is not coming out. During the day, we are fine, and can keep up. But nights are hard, and after all that mucus has had a chance to sit there for a while, it wakes Max up with a coughing fit that often results in him almost choking on said mucus. As a mom, it's hard, and all I can do it keep doing what I am doing and hope that Spring brings us a better, healthier life.

ASIDE FROM THIS, I cannot tell you enough what a joy Max is. We have gotten into a very good routine, and I cannot believe I have been blessed with two incredibly chill & relaxed babies. Max lights up the room, even now, and I cannot believe how vocal he is. It is incredibly easy to get a smile out of him, and the baby coo's that come from his mouth are heart-melting. And if you're not there next to him? He has no problem talking to himself, and often will talk MORE when I have him in the pack & play or down on the play mat while I am getting things done. When the house is quiet and Max is awake, you can hear him babbling away without a care in the world. It warms my heart & is one of my favorite sounds, these early days of him figuring out his voice & seeing what he can do. It's beyond adorable.

This kid also eats like a champ. Lucas ate like a champ as well, but I'm pretty sure this kid is eating more & will weigh more at his two month check up tomorrow. Lucas was 13 pounds, 3 ounces. I guarantee Max will surpass that. Sleep is going well, also. He's not much of a sleeper during the day, as in he likes to take lots of cat naps with maybe one good LONG stretch in the afternoon. But he makes up for this by sleeping 7-9 hours at night. I don't know how long this will last, but it's nice for now.

All in all, things are generally going really well. We had such a rough start to this new life, but I feel like a good groove is finally happening. I am sure there are more hurdles coming our way, especially with our big moving happening in just a couple of months, but for now we are just handling what is thrown to us the best we can. Life with two has definitely been a challenge, but slowly & surely, we are making our way. I continue to sneak in as many baby snuggles as I can during the day, and I don't plan on quitting anytime soon!

Bringing Home Baby

Seeing as how Max will be one month old in just a few short days (REALLY?) this post is a little overdue, but I wanted to get it down none the less so that I could remember how these times were. While it's been a very overwhelming three weeks, full of ups & downs, overall things have been very good. Life with a new baby is no doubt challenging, not to mention figuring how how to balance the schedule of not just the new baby, but the toddler as well, but every day we are figuring things out a little more and coming into our own new routine.

The adjustment with Lucas & Max has had it's own ups & downs as well. Lucas was immediately excited about Max being in the house. A little too much at first, honestly. It took everything we had to not let Lucas squish him -- he literally wanted to be on top of  "baby" around the clock and hold him constantly. It was adorable but often let to massive meltdowns as we learned what the boundaries needed to be. This became a little harder when Lucas came down with croup and we needed to keep them away from each other as much as possible (which was very hard to do in our very small house).

After this initial "new" phase wore off, we then started to deal with realizing baby wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I was starting to struggle with breast feeding (another post for another day) and a good majority of my day was spent nursing, sometimes locked away in the bedroom for an hour and a half at a time. Lucas wasn't too keen on me spending all of my time with Max & we started to have some outbursts of a different time. Balancing my time between needing to be with Max & keep him happy while also making sure Lucas didn't feel neglected was hard. I was so grateful for my sister being here in town & M being home from work, because it made it easier to distract him while I did what I needed to do, but it wasn't a fool-proof plan and Lucas quickly became a stage five clinger.

After those first two weeks, however, things have seemed to ease up a little. Lucas has lost a little interest, in that he's not wanting to be completely all over Max ALL THE TIME. He has also been spending some time with a friend & her two year old, which has helped tremendously in him getting some energy out & additional attention. With M still being out of town dealing with the death of his father, it's been tough for me to manage two kids all on my own for the first time. I am BEYOND grateful that my mom was able to fly in from Germany for a week to help out & ease the transition a bit, and now that the kids & I are solo, we are managing the day to day as best we can, something that would have eventually needed to happen anyways. In all honesty, its been a heartbreaking adjustment for me at times -- there is nothing like a mom's guilt to send you over the edge, but we, myself specifically, are learning and adjusting, figuring out ways to include all in the process, whatever that may be. I in NO WAY have mastered this yet, and Lucas makes sure to push all of my buttons when I can't get up to take care of him right that minute (part of this, I think, is general toddler attitude, as we are quickly approaching two!) but slowly we will get there -- it just may be at a snail's pace.

Lucas's love for Max, however, remains adorable, even if at times it crosses into the "too much" category as far as the little guys personal space. But I have never doubted for a second that Lucas would be an amazing big brother, and I cannot wait for the time when Max can interact more with him (although I'm not quite ready YET. Stay small, little dude!) Two boys has already proven to be such a rewarding experience, on so many levels. My heart is more full today than it was when we brought Max home three weeks ago.